Parents are a treasure for sure and it is so hard to lose them. 2015 is a year of losses for me, lost both my parents. I miss them…

Today at 49 I am an adult orphan, a member of the club that no one wants to join but most will. Losing my mother in June,2015 was devastating; but when I lost my father last week it changed me forever. I felt anchorless, as if I was no longer anyone’s child. I may have looked the same but something inside me shifted.

My parents are the reason I’m here. They have been the one stable point during my whole life, the constant. Yes I’m an adult and can stand alone. But there are times I still need them, times I feel very alone. I have a lovely family and wonderful friends. But they are not my parents…

I Miss You

If I had knew then, what I know now.
I would've spent more time, with you somehow.
Time goes by now, very very fast.
I sure wish I could go back, and change the past.

Even with the days, that have gone by.
I think of you still, and I often cry.
Friends say time, makes the hurt go away.
But I think of you, each and every day.

I know I brought, all my troubles to you.
And you'd always tell me, what I should do.
I sometimes didn't listen, but you were always right.
I sure wish I could hear you, just tell me, "good night".

Sure I miss the things, you used to do for me.
My best friends for life, you will always be.
Every night and day, about you I pray.
To see you smile at me, again someday.

Now the place you're going, I may not get to go.
But I'll keep on trying, and I wanted you to know.
Now there's one more thing, I wish I could do.
I wish I could tell you, Maa and Bauji, how much I miss you.

THE PAIN OF MISSING SOMEONE.....

Before I met her I had no clue what love was all I cared about was myself. Then we found each other and I truly found out what love was. Food lost its flavor, the whole world became hazy to where I don't even remember much of what happened. The only thing that mattered was she and being able to put my arms around her. We didn't even need to say anything, just stand next to each other and share our body heat. My true weakness was in her smile. Her face made me realize that everything was ok in the world and I honestly thought that this had to be heaven. Then when we parted it was honestly the worst feeling in the world. I felt like dieing, no, worse, I felt like dieing 1000000 times or ripping my heart out of my chest hoping and praying that if I did that I wouldn't hurt so much. Loosing a lover is the worst feeling in the world and it does the worst things to you. Ever since then I have never really expressed my self fully in fear that I would feel that kind of pain again

I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other; for those were some of the best times of my life .

Sometimes I wish...

Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.

Don't know why I am so happy today, after such a long time......

Don't cry for a man who's left you, the next one may fall for your smile

A Great Love...

It's when you shed tears and still you care for her. It's when she ignores you and still you long for her. It's when she begins to love another and yet you smile and say I'm happy for you.

My Life ...

I looked at the ceiling and wished this life was over. This unhappy life that had started out so confidently. I thought I would sleep no more that night but eventually I did.

The Simple Solution.
To avoid all pain, unhappiness and fear ......
avoid birth.

There is nothing in the world so much admired as a man

who knows how to bear unhappiness with courage.